And the award goes to...

Since Omar was born I have been trying so hard to be a good mother. Attentive, nurturing, proactive, etc. So, my little story is not one I would even imagine I would admit to--- but I am. More than anything in hopes of making all you mommies aware that the horror stories you hear/ read about DO happen. Here it goes: I am working on a cake and big O is home and with little Omi. Sounds harmless so far right? Well... Omar has to dash to a lesson so he puts little O to sleep and places him on our bed. He put pillows all around him, no way he would be able to get over them and cause any harm. Omar leaves... and I continue trucking along with my cake. While I'm in the kitchen mixing some colors for frosting, I heard a muffled thump. And than--- the worse cry ever. I run to the room, and do not see Omar on the bed. I ran and see my precious little thing laying on the floor screaming at the top of his lungs. Guys, I swear my heart stopped (not sure if I was even breathing). I grabbed him and became so nervous... you cannot imagine. I tried soothing him, praying that he be ok. I held him, as tears streamed down my eyes. Where was Omar, why had he left him, why was I alone with him right now... Hysterically I call Omar and tell him the baby fell off the bed to get home now. I did not know if to call 911, jump in car and drive to ER, or just curl up into a ball and die. You can imagine, that what I truly felt like doing was the third choice. I felt like such a horrible parent, these kinds of things only happen to bad parents... don't they? And than, he looked at me with his little eyes filled with tears and his lower lip trembling he stopped crying and threw his tiny arms around my neck and held me. At that moment I knew he was ok, I don't know exactly how I knew--- but I did. I still called Omar back and asked if I should call 911 he told me he would be home in no time and would figure it out when he got there. He got home in what felt like 5 hours but was less than 10 minutes. We agreed that we would not let him fall asleep which was a task in itself being that he was likely knocked out when he tumbled. So we took off all his closed inspected him for bruises and bumps... and found none. I moved all his arms, legs, toes, fingers, you name it to make sure nothing hurt--- he was ok. His little head was no larger than usual and had no dents. I called Yulie and told her what had happened, she told me to do everything we had already done. If his crying had stopped he should be ok but to keep an eye on him. This happened yesterday and people I haven't slept well since. So does it make me a bad mom because my infant fell off our bed, which would have never happened if we had put him in crib like we should. I wonder how many parents this has happened to and since nothing fatal happened went undocumented just like Omi's tumble. We didn't even tell either set of grandparents... just to a) not worry them or b) get scolded. So in case anyone is keeping tabs... a TINY drop of rubbing alcohol fell into Omi's eye and he fell off the bed while in my care-- shit to think we want another one. Should I just quit while I'm ahead and stick to one.

On a lighter note here are some pictures of my little bear (hence the ears)... lol