Today's topic is ME

By just reading my title alone you likely would not guess what my post is about. Yes it is about me, but not in a blah kind of way but more of a reflective point of view. Enough with the intro--- let me get onto my topic which I am hoping will help me get some things off of my chest.

Whenever Omar and I take road trips one of two things usually happens 1) deep conversations about random things in our lives and 2) we get into an argument. This trip did not disappoint.

Our conversion started like this:

Yvette: "You think I am mean?"

Omar: "What do you mean?"
Yvette: "Do you think I am mean? There really only is ONE way to interpret the question I either am or aren't"
Omar: "Well I guess you could be, but only some times and its just you're way of being"
Yvette: "So I am mean?"
Omar: "Nah, just people think that because you keep to yourself too much. Make 'em think you're a bitch."

***That is really not a huge revelation to me folks. I know I am not that outgoing person who goes around chatting with anything that moves. It is just not who I am. Nothing to do with being stuck up or being a bitch. Although I can very well be a bitch, only if I feel that the individual merits such harsh treatment. But it still makes me sad. On more than one occasion I feel that I have been judged unjustly. For not being social I am tagged as stuck up. Which I feel is even more wrong... I think I am a relatively practical person. I just think it is ironic that the same person being labeled as a bitch/ stuck up/ other unmentionable stereotypes has her feelings hurt at the thought of being judged harshly. I pride myself in being far from those characteristics actually. When dealing with others I think I am such a loyal and faithful friend. True at times, I feel that I am a better friend to some than they are to me... but I have yet to call anyone out on it. Nor could I ever imagine doing so. I try to be absolutely genuine in my intentions and feelings... it stinks to know you are thought of so poorly amongst others. Now we all know that girls are catty, so I try not to let it bother me too much. But if you are not going to like me, at least give me a chance to be a bitch to you and give you reason. Please do not deprive me of that opportunity. After all, if you insist on passing your judgement it is only fair that I am given a chance to live up to your expectations.

As for my number 2: Being that this is my second time going through this, I have chalked up some of my off the wall rantings to post partum issues. Obviously having a baby takes a toll on your in so many ways- the obvious destruction of what once your body, sleep deprivation, non stop days, etc etc etc. However with my first I was not so obsessed with losing my pregnancy weight. But whoa with Aiden it is about all I think about. So I want to go on the record as saying the argument (I will not go into specifics about) was absolutely my fault in every which way. Ya hear that Omar? I am admitting I am wrong--- copy and paste this on to your desk top baybeh- it is not likely I will admit it again. There is no one else I would want on my team more than you... I love you.